Soul Wound: An Interview on Moral Injury in the Military

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Photo courtesy of Sarah Cramer Shields Photography.

Meet Eric Liddick. Eric is a major in the US Army’s Judge Advocate Generals corps. He is a former member of the 75th Ranger Regiment and 82nd airborne division. His service includes multiple deployments to Afghanistan, and maybe most importantly, he has a super cute dog. 

Eric was part of a counter-terrorism mission in Afghanistan, which means, essentially, capturing or killing enemies of the United States. But one aspect of his role as a Judge Advocate was this: answering the question of whether or not it was legal - in keeping with the laws of war - to kill a specific individual who was being targeted. So in this episode, we talk about the immense weight of that. We discuss the fact that when we think of the lingering trauma of war, we think about people who were on the ground being shot at. We don’t tend to consider those who were maybe more removed from immediate danger, but who still carry guilt, shame, and pain. 

We also talk about what it’s like to be a highly sensitive and introverted person in the military, the impact of post traumatic stress and moral injury, and what happens when you feel that you have betrayed yourself and you’re no longer the person you thought you were.

Show notes

Eric’s article on Moral Injury - No Legal Objection, Per Se - War on the Rocks

The Dark Night of the Soul - Psychiatric Times

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain

The Highly Sensitive Person

If you’re interested in donating to organizations who help military members come home:

Crisis support:

  • For Veterans - caring, qualified VA responders standing by to help 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. 1-800-273-8255 and Press 1

  • National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24 hours a day: 800-273-8255

  • Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support via text message. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained Crisis Counselor.

Please subscribe to this podcast on iTunes, or Stitcher, or Spotify.

If you enjoyed this episode, I would be so grateful if you could rate and offer a quick review on iTunes. Ratings are really important and help out a lot. Many thanks!

Theme music: Dulcinea by Steve Adams 

Season 3, Ep. 6 - Social Anxiety and the New Normal

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The world is opening up again...so why are we still really freaked out? In this episode, I discuss social anxiety, why even extroverts are having issues with being social again, and how you are allowed to change up the rules and get what you need out of your life.

A quote I love:

“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
―Lao Tzu (or maybe just unknown)

Please subscribe on iTunes, or Stitcher, or Spotify.

If you enjoyed this podcast, I would be so grateful if you could rate and offer a quick review on iTunes. Ratings are really important and help out a lot. Many thanks!

Theme music: Dulcinea by Steve Adams

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Click above to donate to the podcast!

Season 3, Ep. 5 - Surviving or thriving?

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Recently, I’ve been thinking that I was having a some sort of super healthy mid-life crisis. I’ve been changing almost everything in my life: my schedule, my skincare routine, my workouts, my filing system, my journaling system. I’ve been tweaking everything.

What I’ve finally realized is that for the past 412 days I have been focused on surviving. But survival has become insufficient.

I want to thrive.

In this podcast, I talk about the difference between thriving and surviving, how you know which one you need, and what to do if your external circumstances feel like survival, but you want more.

Show notes:

My newsletter sign up (the monthly newsletter is free, $5 a month to get a newsletter every Friday)

Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health

Blair Imani Instagram - Smarter in Seconds

The Ready to Thrive Haircut

The Ready to Thrive Haircut

Please subscribe on iTunes, or Stitcher, or Spotify.

If you enjoyed this podcast, I would be so grateful if you could rate and offer a quick review on iTunes. Ratings are really important and help out a lot. Many thanks!

Theme music: Dulcinea by Steve Adams

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Click above to donate to the podcast!

Season 3, Ep. 4 - The Story of a Rescue Dog

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Three years ago, my husband and I adopted a rescue dog.

And she was a nightmare.

This a story of love and sadness. Of heartbreak and joy. Of learning and of failures. But more than anything, this is a story about how things can change. Things can seem so dark and hopeless - but they actually can get better. This is a story about how everyone is capable of healing. Because I went from thinking this traumatized, fear-aggressive, terrified mutt had ruined my life — to being madly in love with my sweet Olive. And now it’s all love.

Animal charities I love:

Charlottesville-Albemarle SPCA (my local no-kill shelter)

Austin Pets Alive!

Friends of Retired Greyhounds

American Pit Bull Foundation

Please subscribe on iTunes, or Stitcher, or Spotify.

If you enjoyed this podcast, I would be so grateful if you could rate and offer a quick review on iTunes. Ratings are really important and help out a lot. Many thanks!

Theme music: Dulcinea by Steve Adams

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Click above to donate to the podcast!


Season 3, Ep. 3 - Interview with a Vietnam Vet: backpack full of rocks

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Meet Buzzy. He is an Air Force Veteran who flew 212 combat missions as a navigator on B-52 bombers. He is also my yoga student and one of my favorite humans. Buzzy speaks honestly about the Vietnam war, the challenges that Veterans face, and what happens when you decide to do something radical in the face of depression and post-traumatic stress.

Here are links to some of the topics we discuss in the interview:

A video on my Veteran's yoga class - featuring Buzzy and Mike

Homefront 1967 on Vimeo

RF-4 Phantom - Tactical Reconnaissance Aircraft

Photos of B-52 bombers during Christmas bombings

The Easter Offensive

Details of the Christmas bombings from History.com

Jack Fellows - he was a POW in the Hanoi Hilton, and wrote Buzzy a note saying that he saved his life. Fellows writes here about his time in captivity.

Arthur P Grey IV

Buzzy's coaching career

In-patient program at the Salem VA

My interview with Aryeh and Bandit- the podcast Buzzy mentions

Yoga is effective in treating symptoms of Gulf War illness: A randomized clinical trial

Expedition Balance - the Veteran organization I work with down in Texas. An excellent place to send donations!

Books on the Vietnam war:

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

Bloods: An Oral History of the Vietnam War by Black Veterans by Wallace Terry

Father, Soldier, Son: Memoir of a Platoon Leader in Vietnam by Nathaniel Tripp

Please subscribe on iTunes, or Stitcher, or Spotify.

If you like the podcast, please rate and offer a quick review on iTunes. Ratings are really important and help out a lot. Many thanks!

Theme music: Dulcinea by Steve Adams

Season 3, Ep. 2 - My back breaking back story: On body hatred and recovering from injury

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30 years ago last week, I broke my back on a film set. I had lingering pain and nerve damage for decades. 

This episode is all about questioning why it is so common to hate our bodies, why many of us are constantly living from a place of trying to change and improve them. What happens if we decide to opt-out from that narrative and live from a place of gratitude? Can we shift the energy we spend on the scale and actually do something productive with that, instead?

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Theme song by Night Teacher

Rambling Rose

Beginner yoga classes

Sassy back photo:

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Donating not possible? No worries, iTunes reviews are worth their weight in gold. :)

Season 3, Ep 1 - One Year Alcohol Free AF

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A sober chick with rainbow chucks

A sober chick with rainbow chucks

What happens when you are not an alcoholic, but you decide to stop drinking for one year for the simple fact that alcohol makes your anxiety rage and makes you feel like garbage?

I had lots of questions. What about my birthday? What about when I need to unwind? What about when the world is facing a global pandemic? No drinking even then?

No drinking even then.

I explore what it’s like to be sober during the apocalypse, the social pressures to drink, and the big question - I’ve been sober for a year - so now what?

Here are some things I talked about in this episode:

This Naked Mind

Holly Whitaker - “It’s destruction, marketed as liberation”

Laura McKowen

Sober October

I am Sober App

Lagunitas Hoppy Refresher

Seedlips NA Spirits

Gruvi Non-Alcoholic Dry Secco

Rainbow Pride Converse

The question isn’t whether you have a drinking problem, the question is: does drinking cause you problems?

Our awesome theme song for this season is called Rebecca’s Song from Night Teacher. Visit them on Instagram.

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

So, we record in the closet because the wonderfully talented and totally legit podcast person Lulu Miller once told me that was how you got the best sound. I’m not sure the dog was taken into account, but this is how we do it around here.

Season 2, Ep. 9 - A sleepwalker gives sleeping advice

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I am a lifelong troubled sleeper. 

When I worked as an actor, I would often have to grab a quick nap to get through long days, comfortably sleeping upright in a folding chair without messing up my hair and makeup. 

But in my own bed? At an appropriate sleeping time? That is a recipe for sleepwalking, night terrors, and writing creepy and insistent notes that no one understands. 

In this podcast, I share what I’ve learned about how to sleep, what to do - and not do - during the day to get to sleep at night, and also my game-changer of a routine that is simple, and free. 

Sleep tight, my fellow weirdos.

Links for this episode:

Insight timer: my recordings (including body scan)

Yoga Nidra: Jennifer Reis

My yoga for insomnia video

Helen Ramos - medical hypnosis

Natrol Melatonin

My sleepwalking and hypnosis story

Hear more from Bre Gregg and Red Bird at RedBirdSoul.com

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Click above to donate to the podcast!

Season 2, Ep. 8 - Fear: on hippos, demons, and why we should invite them all in

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I've gotten lots of requests lately to talk about fear.

I've not wanted to talk about fear.

Fear is scary. 

But since it's something so many of us are dealing with right now, I decided we needed to talk about it. 

So let's talk fear, and why we should consider doing the exact opposite of what we want to do. 

In this episode:

Pema Chodron

When Things Fall Apart: heart advice for difficult times

The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

Theme music by Red Bird

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 7 - The Love Letter: a socially-distanced mini-episode

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This is the first time I’ve ever cried during a podcast. I was going to re-record it because of that, but I didn’t. Because I want to be real with you.

This episode is about how I’ve not wanted to write lately. For me, that’s like saying I no longer have any use for food. But there is a very real reason why that is, and I talk about it in this episode, and I also share the re-frame that helped me to work through some of the difficult emotions I’ve been feeling. And I share how you can do that, too, if you think it might help you.

A couple of things from this episode:

Elizabeth Gilbert

Theme music by Red Bird

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 6 - Anxiety in an anxious world: and staying sober through it all

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Um. Hi. 

The world is really hard to handle right now. 

In this episode, I come to you from my closet again to talk about some ways we can manage our mental wellness in this time of COVID-19. I'll also talk about my recent decision to stop drinking alcohol, and how that feels since this is a reality in which I REALLY want to numb out and escape. 

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 5 - Mental wellness in corporate culture: talking about a talk I can't talk about

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I recently did a talk about mental health and mindfulness at a big financial firm. (And I signed an NDA so I can't tell you the name of it.) Corporations are not known for being really safe and open spaces for discussing things like this. But I want to change that. 

In this episode, I talk about what happened when I went to a place that's not comfortable with this topic, and I talked about the awkward things.

And then I made them meditate. 

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 4 - Interview with a holistic wellness coach: so, what should I eat?

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If you've made any health-related new year's resolutions - this is the episode for you. Feeling overwhelmed by wanting to change but not knowing where to start? Are your resolutions totally forgotten by mid-January? I talk to holistic wellness coach Cecily Armstrong about intuitive eating, self-compassion, and why sometimes it's totally fine to have a food-product covered in spray cheese. 

Links to things we talked about

Get more info on Cecily, and work with her in person or remotely

Learn about intuitive eating

One of my favorite recipes of Cecily’s that I make for dinner pretty much once a week - Kale Medley

The Mood Cure - book on the connection between food and mental wellness

That Sugar Film

Michael Pollan’s book Food Rules

Cecily’s Hot Chocolate

(Play with the amounts so that it suits you!)

Ground cacao beans 

Coconut milk

Stevia 

Pinch of Celtic sea salt

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. If you would like to show your support, you can set up a one time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs and keep this podcast commercial-free. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep.3 - Interview with an artist: why busy is B.S.

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Susan McCulley writes, moves, creates, and shines. She is an artist and all-around sparkly person. 

In this episode, we discuss the obsession with busyness and how we can find more joy in our lives, even within the chaos of modern life. We talk about how to ditch the endless search for worthiness and external approval. How do we learn to live from our true priorities? Can we free ourselves from the constant striving and to-do list addiction? (Spoiler alert: we can.)

Susan's new book Octabusy: Letting Go in a Sea of Doing is available now. Learn more at susanmcculley.com

Some other things we talk about in this episode:

Insight Timer

Seth Godin

Theme music is Beautiful, by the band Red Bird

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.” ― Rumi

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. If you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs and keep this podcast commercial-free. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 2 - Interview with a singer: performance anxiety, vulnerability, and what brave feels like

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In this episode, I interview Bre Gregg of the band Red Bird. She is a singer/songwriter, mother, and anxious person. 

Bree Gregg and Red Bird at the Alberta Rose Theatre in Portland, OR.

Bree Gregg and Red Bird at the Alberta Rose Theatre in Portland, OR.

Bre performs her own music on stage, and I share my life in talks and workshops, yet we both identify as people with anxiety, who get really nervous about being on stage. We talk about why introverts and highly sensitive people put ourselves in this scary public position.  We discuss the connection between being an artist and being a person with BIG feelings. And we share our personal practices for getting through events that make us nervous. 

If you've ever been anxious about giving a speech, presentation, or even just speaking up in a meeting - this one is for you. 

Other notes from the show:

Hear more from Bre Gregg and Red Bird at RedBirdSoul.com

Ira Glass on the creative process and why it just takes a while

Clips from my public events

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. If you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs and keep this podcast commercial-free. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 2, Ep. 1-Interview with a Veteran: service dogs, trauma, and why camaraderie really matters

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I work with an organization called Expedition Balance, and we offer retreats for Veterans with post-traumatic stress. I teach a therapeutic writing workshop and therapeutic yoga classes. 

In this episode, I interview one of the participants, Aryeh, about his 23 years in the military, why he does yoga, how these retreats help support Vets coming home, what the VA could be doing better, and his relationship with his service dog, Bandit. 

He also hypothesizes on why I love old houses, does a terrible Canadian accent, and openly mocks me.

There is a ton of adult language in this episode, and discussion of difficult and potentially triggering topics such as military sexual trauma, rape, and suicide. 

Photo credit: Rodney Waters

For more info on Expedition Balance, and to make a donation to keep these retreats going, check out expeditionbalance.org

Links from this episode:

Expedition Balance

Bandit the Yoga Dog on Instagram

Red Bird

Buc-ee’s

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. If you would like to show your support, you set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs and keep this podcast commercial-free. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 1, Ep 1.- So...who are you? An introduction

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Hey all and welcome to the Embrace Your Weird Podcast!

In this episode, I'll tell you a bit about me, my past as a child actor, my decision to leave LA to find my true passion, as well as my current life as a writer...and a podcaster, apparently. I'll also cover why I am talking to you while crammed into a closet with my dog. 

Here are links to a few things mentioned in the podcast: 

Lulu Miller and Invisibilia

Olive my podcasting co-host

Mrs. Doubtfire

Independence Day

Matinee

The truly cringe-worthy Lifeline tv movie (Also sometimes called Reckoning, for some reason) has mostly disapeared, but someone actually compiled some clips on Youtube. 

The letter that Robin Williams wrote to my high school, requesting that they allow me to come back to school after filming 

You Look Like That Girl: a child actor stops pretending and finally grows up

Youtube beginner yoga class

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Please subscribe to this podcast and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for this first season of the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 1, Ep. 2 - Creativity and taming the Inner Critic

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(E)

Creativity is one of my favorite topics. The Inner Critic can be loud for all of us, regardless of whether or not you consider yourself to be a creative person. In this episode, I talk about some of my favorite ways to actually get creative work done and out into the world.

Here are links to a few of the things mentioned in the podcast: 

On Writing - Stephen King

11/22/63 - Stephen King

The Man in the Arena 

Bird By Bird - Anne Lamott

Shitty First Draft - from Bird By Bird

The Artist’s Way - Julia Cameron

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

Please subscribe to this show and leave a review on iTunes!

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for this first season of the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 1, Ep. 3 - Anxiety and depression and how to make life just a little easier

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This is the topic that so many people have been asking me for. In this episode, I talk about my experience with anxiety and a panic disorder, and I also cover some of the most helpful tools that I have for managing anxiety and depression. 

Here are some of the links:

This amazing depiction of my Amy & Cora was created by Serena love

This amazing depiction of my Amy & Cora was created by Serena love

I love thinking about the brain in terms of these two ladies - Amy and Cora. And of course, the brain is much more complex that this - and I’m no neuroscientist, but this is a more helpful, and more cute way to think about it. For more on the talented artist that created Amy and Cora for me, check out Serena Love

Insight Timer - download this free app and search for my name for guided meditations or listen online.

My workshops on anxiety management

Doctor’s letter for starting the conversation about anxiety/depression

Sun Salutation A - description of a simple practice you can do anytime.

My YouTube yoga class

On set of Night Court - just after my very first panic attack. I’m hiding it well. The bunny ears help.

On the set of Night Court With Benny Grant

On the set of Night Court With Benny Grant

Please subscribe and rate this podcast on iTunes!

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for this first season of the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...

Season 1, Ep. 4 - Mindfulness and meditation and why your brain is not special

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People tell me all the time that they want to meditate, but they can’t because their brains are too busy. Yeah. Welcome to having a human brain. I really hate to tell you this, but your brain is not special. Let’s dispel some other meditation myths.

By the way, we do a guided mediation in this episode from to minute 30 to minute 36. So, in case you are in a car or another place where it’s not going to work for you to meditate - just skip ahead and come back to that part.

Here are some things that were discussed in the episode:

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Please subscribe and rate this podcast on iTunes!

The theme song is called “Beautiful” from the band Red Bird. Check them out live in Portland, Oregon, or online at RedBirdBand.com

By the way, it turns out that it costs money to create a podcast - there are podcast hosting site costs and equipment, etc. I've decided not to accept advertisers for this first season of the Embrace Your Weird Podcast so if you would like to show your support, you can set up a one-time or monthly donation via Paypal to help with costs. And I might even send you a little Thank You something...